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{Fic} Half-Wing


Title:
Half-Wing
Characters/Pairing: Changmin+OC, with cameos of the rest of the boys / OT5-ish
Summary: Sometimes he wished that people would see him as Shim Changmin, a regular college boy, instead of Choikang Changmin, the pop star. Changmin finds something he had lost long ago, and he finally learns to fly as himself: whole.    
Author's notes: 
The lyrics used in the fic is from Gemini by Spongecola.
Thanks, again, to  skyelee   for telling me over and over again to use this plunnie, and for the fic's title.
 This is the first installment of the DongBangShinKi Diaries series.
 Additional notes at the end of the fic to avoid spoilers.
 
 
 
Come a little closer, flicker in flight
 
Shim Changmin made his way out of the university auditorium that afternoon. Freshman orientation was finally over, thank goodness. The speaker was all right, and the subject matter was imperative, especially for a freshman like Changmin, but the young man felt an unusual restlessness while he was at the auditorium.  Changmin pegged it as regular first-day jitters as he lost himself in the sea of students spilling onto the quadrangle.
 
Lee Youngmi craned her neck to see over the crowd. She was supposed to be with her friend Haneul, but they got separated when they got out of the auditorium. Youngmi fished her mobile from her bag and sent her friend a text message. Meet me at the cafeteria. Youngmi sighed and held her bag close as she tried to protect herself from being shoved around in the throng. She felt a headache coming on, so she closed her eyes as she headed to the meeting place.
 
 
We'll have about an inch's space and I'm here
 
Changmin flipped his mobile shut. Jaejoong had just called, asking him about his day. Changmin picked up his chopsticks and scarfed down the remaining bits of his lunch. He then rummaged into his bag to get his class schedule. He didn't have any more classes for today, but he thought that he could figure out where his classrooms were. It felt strange eating in the cafeteria, with all those people, so he chose a secluded spot to keep his privacy. However, Changmin knew that his peace would soon be disturbed when he saw a handful of girls walking towards his table. He groaned inwardly.
 
*
Youngmi settled her tray on the table and she sat across Haneul, who was watching a video on a laptop.  Youngmi could hear music and male vocals, but the song wouldn't register. Oh well. She could just ask Haneul later. Youngmi then noticed a small cluster of students standing around a table nearby. She wondered what was going on. The girls all looked terribly excited, like there was a movie star or something. A tall male student got up from the table, bowed to the girls and then hurried out of the cafeteria. He passed Youngmi on his way out, and for a split-second, Youngmi felt that he seemed very familiar. But he was gone before she could figure out who he was.
 
 
I can breathe in what you breathe out.
 
Changmin sprinted to the parking lot. He got into his car and stared at the steering wheel. He knew that going to university would be a bit difficult, mostly because the fans would swarm him like what just happened in the cafeteria. Sometimes he wished that people would see him as Shim Changmin, a regular college boy, instead of Choikang Changmin, the pop star. He sat there for several minutes before he drove out of the campus. He never even got to check out his classrooms like he had planned. Changmin watched two girls walking down a lane, laughing and gesturing excitedly to each other as he passed them by. For the first time in a long time, Changmin wished to be someone else, someone like them.
 
*
Youngmi dropped her bag on the floor when she got home. She sighed as her back touched the soft mattress of her bed. She was excited for college. Earning her degree would be her ticket to the world. She wanted to travel, and to write about everything and everyone she saw. She stared at the ceiling of her room, but instead of the white concrete, she saw visions of Tokyo, London, Paris. Someday, she promised herself. One day, she'd get there. Someday.
 
 
Let me know if I'm doing this right
 
The hectic schedule was starting to get to Changmin. Dance rehearsal, TV guestings, school, photoshoots, radio shows, homework, among millions of other things. He had unwavering focus when it came to his studies, but lately, he was simply too tired. He was beginning to wonder if he made the right decision to go to college right away. He buried his face in his hands. He heard shuffling, and Changmin raised his head. Yoochun was now seated in front of the keyboard. the older boy smiled at the younger, and Yoochun began to play a soft melody. Changmin soon found himself able to relax, and he managed to finish the chapters they were assigned to read for his Humanities class.
 
*
Having a study session at Haneul's house that evening seemed like a good idea, so Youngmi agreed. But, two hours and eighteen minutes later, while watching her so-called best friend search for DongBangShinKi on the internet, Youngmi wished she stayed home instead. Glancing at the photo on the computer screen, Youngmi gripped Haneul's arm when she saw the tallest member of the group. That boy from the cafeteria! Youngmi stared at Choikang Changmin's face. She was sure it was him. And she idly wondered if she would ever see him in school again.

 
Let me know if my grip's too tight.
 
After almost two weeks of dodging the fangirls in school, Changmin finally found the perfect hiding place: the library. He hid amongst the shelves and studied there. Sometimes, the librarian would see him seated on the floor, reading, but the old woman left him alone. Changmin was glad that no one ever really browsed through the Ancient Texts section, and so he had the peace he so badly craved in school.
 
*
The book cart was already full, so Youngmi went to put the tomes back into their places. It was the most tedious part of her job as the student assistant in the university library. Hauling the books and making sure each one was in the right shelf, and in the right order, was serious business. What drove her crazy was that some students do not put the books back in the correct spots, so Youngmi sometimes had to stay after school to help old Mrs. Jang rearrange the books. Finally, after an hour and a half of going through the shelves, she reached the final section: Ancient Texts.
 

Let me know if I can stay all of my life
 
Changmin heard the shuffle of the book cart as it approached. He looked at his watch, confused. It was a little too early for Mrs. Jang to be clearing up, so he looked up. The one pushing the cart wasn't the librarian, he realized, but a young woman, probably a student. She paused when she saw Changmin, as if asking for his permission to go on. He nodded, and she continued forward.  She did not speak to him, but the girl's presence was a welcome one, as Changmin was glad to have company after hours of studying alone.
 
*
Youngmi was surprised to find Changmin holed up in the Ancient Texts area, but she figured that it was the only place where he could study without people bothering him. She felt bad for him, having to hide like this, but she also thought it was nice that he found his piece of privacy. Youngmi shelved the remaining books and headed out, but since the section was the last, the narrow passage led to a dead end and she had to turn the cart around. She maneuvered the cart with some difficulty, and the next thing she knew, Changmin had sprinted up to help her. She bowed, murmured her thanks, and gave Changmin back his privacy.
 
 
Let me know if dreams can come true,
 
Onstage, Changmin tried to mask his discomfort while he danced. He has had a head cold since last night, and he didn't have enough sleep because he had to write a paper and study for a quiz. He missed a beat, and failed to catch up. Then, Changmin was surprised when Junsu picked up on the youngest's solo dance. Junsu grinned at Changmin. One of the back-up dancers pulled Changmin aside and handed him a towel and a bottle of water. Later, his hyungs announced to the audience that they were awfully proud of their dongsaeng who was now in college. Changmin-ah, hwaiting! The concert hall was soon filled with the loudest applause Changmin has ever heard in his life.
 
*
Youngmi and Haneul watched the DongBangShinKi concert on TV. Youngmi didn't plan to, she had homework to do, but for some reason, she wanted to see Changmin, even for just a while. He looked tired, Youngmi mused. Out of the blue, Haneul announced that Changmin and Youngmi had the same birthday, and that they came from the same hometown, too. Youngmi blinked in surprise upon hearing the random piece of information. She hasn't told Haneul about Changmin's hideaway in the library, and perhaps she never will. Youngmi looked back at the TV. A warm feeling settled in her as she watched the sea of pearl red light.
 
 
Let me know if this one's yours, too
 
Changmin settled into his favorite spot in the library. He put his earphones on and set his iPod to random. He opened a textbook and began taking down notes. He didn't hear the book cart approach, but he felt an urge to look up. He took the earphones off and stood up when he saw the student assistant shelving books. Annyong haseyo, he said. She greeted him as well, and went back to her task. She turned around when he asked for her name. Changmin smiled at her. She introduced herself and gave him a small smile.
 
*
Youngmi expected Changmin to be his usual quiet, studious self when she arrived at his section. So when he greeted her and asked for her name, she was practically speechless. She felt flattered that he broke out of his routine just to make small talk. As far as she knew, Changmin never talked to anyone while he was studying. Haneul had supplied her trivia about Changmin's study habits, among other things: the fangirl unknowingly satisfied Youngmi's growing interest in DBSK's youngest member. Changmin excused himself and returned to his textbook, but not before helping Youngmi turn the book cart around.
 
 
'Cause I see it, and I feel it right here.
 
Exam week left Changmin even more exhausted. He crammed all the studying he could during waiting periods on shoots, during lengthy intermission numbers, during meals. Yunho remarked that Changmin was eating less and less, so the leader enforced a new house rule: no one does anything until after they have all eaten. Changmin found this rule especially helpful, because he realized that he was less focused when he was hungry.  He had so gotten used to studying in the library that he had forgotten that he could study and eat when he was at home.
 
*
After rummaging through boxes in search for a sweater, Youngmi found something else: medical reports of her birth. She wouldn't have bothered to read the document, but a small faded photo fell out of the battered folder All her life, she had heard her parents' accounts about how she, as a newborn, was placed in the same cradle with another baby — a boy —because the nurses thought 'rooming' Youngmi with another baby, who was healthy and quiet, could help alleviate the sickly little girl's fussing. It had worked — Youngmi became calmer, and she seemed comforted by the other baby's presence. Youngmi stayed in that crib with the baby boy until she was strong enough to be taken home. The photo she had found featured the two of them, facing each other in their sleep. She had forgotten about this — about him.
 
 
The vacuous night steps aside
 
Changmin now looked forward to going to the library not just because of the peace, but also because of Youngmi's occasional visits to the Ancient Texts section. She never tried to speak to him, not even after he first spoke to her. She just nodded at him, smiled a little, and went about her work. Changmin knew that he should be grateful that Youngmi respected his privacy, but there was something about her he couldn't place his finger on, something he couldn't resist. Youngmi sshi, he called.
 
*
Youngmi came to the Ancient Texts section everyday now, since Changmin had told her that he liked having her company while he studied.  Sometimes, she helped him out by retrieving books found farther away from his spot for him. Youngmi sometimes wondered if anyone else aside from Mrs. Jang knew his little secret. She hoped not. He seemed happy tucked away in his hiding place, and protecting Changmin's secret had become important to Youngmi.


 To give meaning to Gemini's dreaming.
 
Changmin watched Youngmi as she studied. He had finally convinced her to join him. She had looked so hesitant even as she sat down on the floor beside him, her bag at her feet. She had asked if he was sure, if it was all right for her to intrude like that. Changmin had smiled and shook his head. Not intruding, he had said. I like having you around. Changmin had just met her, but for some reason, he felt that he has known Youngmi all his life.
 
*
Youngmi listened to Changmin as he told her a story about his little sisters. She covered her mouth as she laughed, not wanting to be heard by anyone. They fell silent not long after the story was over, and then Changmin asked when her birthday was. A hand flew to Youngmi's mouth again, this time to hide her smile. She paused, then murmured her response. Her smile grew bigger when Changmin's eyes widened in surprise.
 

The moon on its back
 
At home, Changmin enjoyed the momentary quiet. Jaejoong had dragged Yoochun to the store to get ingredients for dinner, Junsu was asleep, and Yunho was — somewhere in the house. Changmin took out a Post-it note that was stuck to his notebook. Don't work yourself too hard, Changmin sshi. You need your rest, it read. Take care. Youngmi had slipped it into his things after she had found him napping against the shelves one day, when he had a cold. She had scolded him for being careless, and ordered him to go home immediately. He smiled as he remembered that, in her anger, she had call him Shim Changmin that day.
 
*
Meanwhile, Youngmi pondered over the conversation that she had just had with her mother. Youngmi had been thinking about the photo she had found, and she pressed her mother for information. Youngmi was sickly, and she cried a lot in the hospital nursery, her mother repeated the story Youngmi had heard all her life. One of the nurses suggested that Youngmi be put beside another baby, in the hope of making her better. They had picked the sweetest-tempered infant in the ward: baby boy — Shin, Youngmi's mother struggled with the name. Youngmi absorbed the new information, and wondered where the boy was now.
 
 
And the seemingly veiled room's
 
Changmin tapped the laptop monitor with his pen. Their professor had assigned them to write about something unique about themselves, a special memory. Changmin contemplated on what to write about. Nearby, Youngmi was shelving books. He watched her absentmindedly, thinking it was really cool that they shared the same birthday. Suddenly, Changmin remembered that he shared his birthday with another person, another girl. He hadn't thought about this story for years, and he decided that it would be the perfect subject for his essay.
 
*
Youngmi read and re-read the essay Changmin wrote. She was surprised he let her read it, but he said he wanted the essay to be proofread before he turned it in. But the biggest surprise was how well the story matched her own: Changmin had shared a cradle with a baby girl in the hospital where he was born. Because the girl was a bit sickly, the nurses placed her with him in the hope of having her health improve. He was chosen mainly because he rarely made a fuss, and he didn't seem uncomfortable sharing his space with another. I wonder how she is right now, Changmin wrote, I hope she has gotten well.
 
 
Lit by the same star.
 
Confused, Changmin looked at his watch. It was almost time for him to go home, but Youngmi hasn't dropped by his section yet. He sighed and packed his things. He hoped nothing bad had happened to her. He wanted to call her, to check, but he didn't know her number. Changmin hefted his bag on his shoulder and slipped out of the Ancient Texts section.
 
*
Hidden among the stacks, Youngmi watched Changmin leave. She didn't know why, but she couldn't face him. Not after what she had learned about him, about them. She first saw him as Choikang Changmin, but realized that she liked Shim Changmin even better. She liked how they spent their afternoons together, amongst the shelves, talking about everything, sometimes nothing at all. But now that she that she knew that he was the baby boy who helped her get better all those years ago, she wondered how things would change between them.
 
 
Let me know if I'm doing this right
 
Changmin frowned. It had been three weeks since he last saw Youngmi. And for the first time in three months, Changmin wanted to get out of his hideaway and look for her in the other parts of the library. Changmin's ears perked up at the sound of the book cart shuffling nearby. He felt his heart plummet when he saw that it was the old librarian, not the one he was waiting for. Changmin got up and bowed to Mrs. Jang. He was about to sit back down when he saw movement from the corner of his eye. He sprinted off, ignoring the old woman's disapproving gaze. He would just have to apologize later.
 
*  
Youngmi tried to hide behind a tall file cabinet, but she knew she failed when she felt a hand grip her arm. She stepped out of the shadows, but refused to meet Changmin's eyes. Look at me , he said. Please look at me, Youngmi-yah. She raised her eyes and saw his expression. He was worried, he said. He asked if he did anything wrong, if he did anything to hurt her feelings. Youngmi shook her head. Just busy, she lied. Too many things to do. His grasp loosened, and he took her hand.
 
 
Let me know if my grip's too tight
 
He wanted to say how much he missed her, something he realized just then. It felt different without her. But the words died on his throat when she saw the confused look in her eyes. Changmin sighed.  How about dinner, he asked instead. Tell me how you've been. She was about to shake her head when he added, Please.
 
*
She couldn't say no, not when he looked so earnest, not when he looked so sad. All right, she whispered. Just this once. Youngmi knew that once was enough. After all, she had nothing left to lose: Changmin had already stolen her heart. 
 
 
Let me know if I can stay all of my life
 
Changmin called the boys at the flat to tell them that he was coming home a little late. Yes, hyung, Changmin said. I won't say out too late. Photoshoot's in the morning, I know. He smiled as Youngmi put her seatbelt on. He ended the call, and made his way to his favorite restaurant near the outskirts of the city. It was out of the way, and quiet, like his favorite spot in the library. Finally, he thought. He could have Youngmi to himself again, even for just a while.
 
*
Youngmi stared at Changmin's profile as he drove. Should she tell him? Should she tell him now? She sighed, sat back and closed her eyes instead. How many times had she imagined the boy that saved her life? Never in her wildest dreams did she think that he would become him. If Youngmi knew that falling in love was this crazy, she wouldn't have even considered the thought.
 
 
Let me know if dreams can come true
 
He had only a couple of hours of sleep, but Changmin didn't look like it. He actually looked well-rested, their manager had said. When they got to the photshoot, Yoochun flopped down on the couch and went back to sleep. Jaejoong gripped a mug of tea, with a faraway look in his eyes; Junsu was in a cranky mood, and Yunho was trying to hide the headache he had had since last night. Changmin covered Yoochun with a small blanket, pulled Jaejoong's jacket more snugly around the oldest's shoulders, gave Junsu a cup of hot chocolate from the caterer's table, and finally sat beside Yunho, and handed the leader a couple of painkillers fished out of manager hyung's jacket pocket. Changmin figured that happy was a million times better than 'well-rested'.
 
*
She stared at the computer monitor; she was contemplating if she should really send the e-mail she had just finished writing. Youngmi sighed. I have the other half of your story, she read aloud. I have thought about telling you this for weeks since I learned about yours. I think it is just right to let you know that the baby girl had lived — because of you. She clicked 'Send' and closed her eyes; she was thinking of another secret — but it was something that she would never ever let him know.
 
 
Let me know if this one's yours, too
 
Changmin was filled with excitement early Saturday morning when he saw that Youngmi had sent him an e-mail. But his excitement was quickly replaced by wonder and disbelief when he read her message. He cried out in amazement, and soon all four of his hyungs were gathered around him at the kitchen table. The other boys knew the story of the baby girl as well as Changmin himself, so Changmin let them read Youngmi's e-mail. I have attached the photo they had taken at the hospital, she had written as a postscript. The group stared at the image of baby Changmin and baby Youngmi, and the older boys cheered. Minnie's found his girl! Junsu and Yoochun danced around, while Jaejoong and Yunho wore identical grins.
 
*
Youngmi stared at her mobile's caller ID. Changmin was calling her! She knew then that he had read her e-mail. Where are you? Changmin said as soon as she had finished saying 'hello'. Can I see you today? Youngmi agreed to meet him downtown. Long after the call had ended, she looked at her reflection in the mirror and asked herself just what had she gotten herself into.
 
 
'Cause I see it, and I feel it right here
 
He got to their meeting place early. He made sure of that. He wanted to see her as she arrived. Changmin ran his fingers through his hair, and he tried not to look too excited. Play it cool, relax, Yoochun told him before he left the house. Smile, Junsu added. Be thoughtful and considerate, Yunho instructed. Just be yourself, Jaejoong said. Changmin prayed that he gets everything right. He has never been in love before, and he figured he needed all the help he could get.
 
*
Her heart was caught in her throat when she saw him already in the restaurant, waiting for her. Youngmi's stomach was filled with hyperactive butterflies as she approached Changmin. His face lit up when he saw her, and he offered her a seat. It's you, Changmin said. I can't believe it was you all along. He was grinning like an idiot. And when his hand covered hers on the table, Youngmi knew that nothing had ever felt so right.
 
 
And I feel it right here
 
Changmin bore the brunt of teasing in the DongBangShinKi household for the next couple of weeks. Jaejoong pestered him to tell the story of how Changmin and Youngmi met, with as much detail as possible. Junsu complained about Changmin 'hiding' things from them — they had never heard of Youngmi before Changmin let them read her e-mail. Yoochun said it was fate, and thought that their story was good material for a new song. Yunho commented on how love suited the youngest — Changmin was happier, and he was more focused than ever. Changmin didn't mind the fuss over his love life — he was just too glad to have Youngmi back in his life.
 
*
Youngmi received hell from Haneul when she finally told her best friend about Changmin. Unbelievable! Haneul exclaimed. You've known Changmin for months, and yet you tell me all this just now? But Haneul forgave her anyway, especially when Youngmi told her that Changmin was the baby boy from the hospital all those years ago. Haneul had gushed and asked if Youngmi was going to meet DBSK. Youngmi laughed, and told Haneul, maybe. Haneul, of course, made Youngmi promise to bring her along to meet the boys. Youngmi thought Haneul was crazy, but she was just too happy to oblige.
 
 
And I feel you right here.
 
They were on a hill overlooking the city, cloaked in the early morning mist. Changmin put his arms around Youngmi to keep her warm. She shifted, and placed her head on his shoulder. Changmin didn't believe in fate, but he believed that some things happen for a reason. Whatever was the reason for bringing him and Youngmi together, Changmin was absolutely thankful for it.
 
Youngmi smiled as she saw the first rays of the morning light. This was the most beautiful day of her life. Twenty years was a long, long wait for love, and it was fascinating how their hearts knew who they were to each other long before Youngmi and Changmin actually learned the truth about their story.
 
Happy birthday, they murmured to each other as they watched the sun rise. Saranghae.
 
 
Additional notes:
 
I wasn't sure how old Korean students are when they enter college when I wrote this, so I just made Changmin and Youngmi (as well as Haneul) 19 years old in this fic. That way, Changmin and Youngmi get to celebrate their 20th birthday together.
 
♥ This story was inspired by my own: I was born two months premature, so I had to be placed in an incubator. However, the hospital ran out of incubators at that time, so they put me in an incubator with another baby--a boy. And no, I don't know his name, and I don't know where he is.  skyelee  thought it would be nice if I wrote a story based on it, and I have been wanting to write about Changmin falling in love, hence this fic was born.
 
I also used an idea from one episode of Grey's Anatomy, where two babies of a quintuplet (or was it a quadruplet, I'm not sure) were placed in the same incubator in the hope that the weaker baby's health would improve in the presence of her healthier sister. I changed the details a bit, since I don't think Changmin was born prematurely, so I placed the babies in a cradle instead of an incubator. :)
 
Thanks for reading!   

 

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Comments

( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
aizawa_mika
Nov. 2nd, 2007 05:58 am (UTC)
this is so sweet and good <3
love it love it!
ianinna
Nov. 2nd, 2007 07:10 am (UTC)
Thanks for reading, dear! :D Glad you liked it! *_*
ejunkebox
May. 5th, 2008 02:33 pm (UTC)
It made me cry =)
I wonder if you have a continuation?




ana
ianinna
May. 5th, 2008 05:07 pm (UTC)
*holds*

thank you for reading!

as for the continuation, well, i'm planning one, but i'm not sure when it'd actually get written.

ejunkebox
May. 6th, 2008 02:04 am (UTC)
Hey i added you =)
And because i love writing stories and poems
It makes me to really feel like writting anything related to dbsk of cos your story isnt going to be snagged but will be in my heart ♥
Best fanfic ever =)




ana
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )